In Loving Memory

Barbara VanTine McGettigan

12/5/1954 - 8/27/2013

Since the moment I found out that my dear aunt has passed, my mind has been busy searching for memories. My fingers have been busy looking for pictures that captured her spirit. My ears have been busy hearing her voice. 

It's nearly impossible for me to imagine a world where she is not of the physical life, she's always been there. I am comforted knowing that she is at peace. I can talk to her whenever I miss her. It's just not the same. 

I've sat here for nearly an hour, typing and deleting, typing and deleting. No matter what words I typed, none seemed to do her or my heart any justice. My memories are all I have; words have escaped me. 

I can hear her pick up the phone and say, "hey kiddo". I'd give anything to hear those 2 little words again. 

Every year on my birthday, she would tell me the story of how she moved back to New Jersey from Arizona because my mom was pregnant with me, her first niece or nephew. She always told me she was here because of me. 

I think about the times I called her after my grandmother (her mother) passed away. I knew I could tell her exactly what I was feeling and I knew she would understand. 

My heart breaks a little more when I think of all the times that she told me how she always loved her nieces and nephews as if they were her own children. 

I remember how free her spirit was. She could be flighty and it added to her charm. 

Her favorite place was always Long Beach Island, NJ. She loved the beach. It spoke to her; it called to her and she happily obliged. The beach calmed and soothed her. It was her happy place. I can only hope that she is enjoying her time now on the world's most beautiful beach. Although, I am pretty sure I know where she is.

My aunt always picked out the best occasion cards. When I "became a woman" she gave me a congratulations card. And birthday cards were always funny ones. She had a great sense of humor and her laugh was infectious. 

Her front tooth was crooked. So is mine. 

I remember when I was young, she wouldn't let me listen to Taylor Dane, because I wasn't old enough. Compared to the music today, that was PG. To this day, whenever I here one of those songs, I still don't understand what was so "adult" about them. 

She was warm and loving. She never complained.

She loved me, she was proud of me. She believed in me. 

She was a daughter, a sister, a wife, an aunt and a friend. She was loved and she loved us in return. She  always loved with her whole heart. 

Her passing is a loss we will feel for a long time. She took a little piece of each of us when she left this world. We will always be connected. 

I love her and I miss her already.