When I first went back to work in September, I cried halfway to work every day for the first 2 or 3 weeks. After being home with my little guy for 16 months, it was really hard to leave him. I had the worst separation anxiety ever!! He on the other hand was fine, from what I can remember. I don't think he ever shed a tear. This, of course, made it a little easier on Mommy...a little.
I have gotten used to working and have accepted that in this economy it is essential for both parents to work. We are fortunate enough that Brandon's grandmothers are able to watch him. Not only is this an amazing money saver, but it gives us the security knowing that he is well taken care of.
Fast forward to this morning...5:45am rolled around and it was time to get Brandon ready to leave. Under no circumstances did he want to get out of bed. Even a toddler knows that leaving for work that early in the morning is wrong and way too early. Trust me, I would have rather laid in bed and snuggled with my little guy.
He fussed a little getting on his jacket, but by the time I got the second arm in, he was back asleep. Lucky him. He slept all the way to Grandma's house and woke up when I took him out of the truck and he heard Toby (my moms Golden Retriever) barking.
Mom comes outside to get Brandon because Toby is like a Mexican jumping bean and I just can't deal with that so early in the morning. I don't even listen to the radio on my way in to work. I like it calm and quiet. I know, crazy.
Well, when I went to hand him over, he wrapped his little arms around my neck and held on tight. He didn't want to go. Mom grabbed him and I quickly turned away and walked back to my truck as fast as I could, using all my will power to keep the tears at bay. Of course, stupid me looked back and saw him reaching out for me. Gut wrenching.
I held back the tears, but the guilt of leaving him lingers. Mom assured me that he was okay and eating his breakfast. He had long forgotten that Mommy left him. But this morning only hightened my desire and drive to write professionally and work from home. Brandon would still go to Grandma's and Mimi's, but on a day like today when we both just wanted to sleep, we could.