Thursday, May 5, 2011

A Blog a Day in May Day #5 - A New Chapter

Today was my last day at work. I approached the day on a positive note. Aside from not having another job yet (this was a temp position), I was excited that I'd have some time to get ready for our move next month and give my writing a fair go. What I didn't prepare myself for was the emotions that followed.

I spent the morning tying up lose ends and making sure that everything possible was done. I wanted to leave on a good note in the event that they had a need for me again. Lunch time rolled around and Pam and Mabel took me to one of my favorite places in the area, Tropical BBQ, a quaint little Portuguese place and the best buffet ever! As luck may have it, they were serving most of my favorite dishes. We had a wonderful little lunch. Unfortunately, Aliese and Renee were out of the office and weren't able to join us. We returned to the office and with only an hour and a half to go, I was starting to feel slightly emotional, when I received a personal email. A wonderful woman I became connected with through the MomSquawk contest sent me some freelance writing work. I was so excited that I landed my first job working for someone else, that my sadness of leaving my coworkers and friends a little easier to swallow.

When it was time to go, I made my rounds and said goodbye. Although it is goodbye for now, I have a feeling I may be back someday. Just a hunch.

It wasn't until a few hours later when I was home with my husband and son that it hit me, I was really going to miss my friends. I sat on our couch and began to cry. I realized then that I never really had to say goodbye to coworkers. When I left my last job, I just didn't go back after my maternity leave. In some way, it made leaving easier, but this time I had to look at my new friends and say goodbye. I had to go around with my brave face on and pretend like everything was going to be okay, when in reality, I was scared out of my mind. I have never freelanced and we were moving into a new place without a full time second income.

After spending a few minutes crying on my husband's shoulder, he hugged me tight, looked me in the eye and told me everything would be okay. I knew then, that it would be, failure was not an option.

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