Mom-ents: Would You Sell Your Wedding Dress?

My Mom and I were recently talking about things that were stored at her house and how if needed, where she could downsize. I don't have much left there, but what I do have left there is my wedding dress. It's stored in the closet in my childhood bedroom. I never brought it to our home because well, in an apartment with 2 kids, storage space is highly sought after real estate and there is little room for things that don't serve a functional purpose. 

My dress hung from a ceiling fan...LOL

When I saw my dress, I just knew that it was the ONE. It was the dress that I would marry my husband in. The beginning of our "forever". It was right off the rack, but it was perfect. It fit just right in all the right places, it was elegant and simple. It had just enough bling to sparkle. 

My parent's wedding day

However, my mother's dress holds so much more sentimental value. My grandmother had the gift of being able to do wonderful things with fabric and a sewing machine. She used that gift and made my mother's wedding dress. Mom always thought that maybe someday her daughter would wear it. And while it is a beautiful dress, it wasn't my style. Then she thought, well maybe it can be made into a granddaughter's Christening gown. She has 4 grandsons. So, what does she do with it now? Hold on to it, sell it, create something new?

Then I saw an article posted my The Huffington Post, originally from Buzzfeed, were daughter's try on their mom's wedding dress and do a photo shoot. I thought that was a pretty awesome idea! Create a new memory from an old one. What do you think, Mom? Could be fun!

I started thinking about what I wanted to do with my wedding dress. I always just thought that I would store it way for the rest of my life and someday when I was old and grey, make that choice. I also used to be a pack rat. LOL. 

Did I want to continue to store it in the hopes that I would have a granddaughter someday? Chances are it would be out of style anyway. Did I want to sell it or donate it? Did I want to create something more functional? Or maybe create a new dress for a 10 year vow renewal...Hmmm, that sounds interesting.

So, I am curious to know, what did you do or plan to do with your wedding dress?

No wedding dresses were harmed in the making of this blog post. Both dresses remain perfectly preserved and stored. 

Happy Mother's Day!

It wasn't until I became a mom, that I truly understood the work being a mom really was. My mom always made it look so easy. What I didn't know and didn't see were the endless hours she put in after my brother and I were sound asleep in our beds. I never gave much thought to how there were always clean towels or how the toilet paper never ran out. Beds were made and laundry cleaned and put neatly in drawers. Lunches were ready and the refrigerator and cabinets were always stocked with food. She made sure that Santa never let us down. The tooth fairy came and the Easter Bunny always hid our baskets.

She worried about our safety, our health, our happiness. She worried if she was doing a good enough job. She worried if we did well in school, if we had the right friends. She worried when it was 10 minutes past curfew and we weren't home.

She supported us, picked us up when we fell and loved us unconditionally. Even when I used dish soap in the dishwasher. Oops. But through all the work, worry and support, she was silently teaching me how to be the best possible mother I could be.

When I got married, I was blessed with a wonderful mother-in-law. Over the years she has been there as a mother and as a friend. She raised a wonderful man that I am proud to call my husband.

To my boys, you are my greatest accomplishments. I wouldn't be a Mommy without you. You came in to this world so tiny and fragile, but you are growing into amazing boys. There is no greater joy than watching you grow and learn. I promise to always love and protect you. Even when you are all grown, you will always be my babies. I love you with every ounce of my soul.

A NICU Mom

Brandon

Ryan

As Moms, we've all been new. We've doubted our abilities as good moms. We rejoice in our baby's every milestone. We learn and we have personal victories and an equal amount of failures. We've all sat there and said, "I can't believe that's my baby. I made that".

But NICU moms are different. We have a camaraderie that I have seldom seen in non-NICU moms. We've gone to war and come back a different person. We swap stories proudly but can empathize with each other. I mean really, truly feel with them in that moment. 

NICU moms never know the joys of lying our babies on our bare chest moments after birth. We'll never share a hospital room. We will never know what it's like to be wheeled out of the hospital while Daddy carries the infant car seat out the doors to begin your life as a family. 

No. Our experience is much different than a non-NICU mom. And as I speak to other NICU moms, I learn we all have similar stories. Our bodies, the bodies that were created to conceive and grow new life, fails us.  

We understand the enormity of milestones. While an ounce in weight gain may seem less than spectacular to a non-NICU mom, to us an ounce can make the difference in your baby moving one step closer to home or not. A 3ml increase in intake is always a huge deal. 

NICU moms become accustomed to the dings, bings and beeps of the monitors. We know the ranges of heart rate, respiratory rate and oxygen saturation. We know what oxygen saturation is and why it's important. We become experts in our baby's medical treatment. 

We change diapers amidst wires. We do this while changing our babies in what can only be described as a salad bar. Hoping and praying the wires don't land in the dirty diaper. 

We know what it's like to have to ask to take your baby out of the isolette. To wait while some one else fixes your baby's bottle. To have someone watching your every move with your own baby. 

We have gone through the emotional torture of leaving the hospital without that little bundle of joy. It's pretty weird, ya know. You walk into a hospital one day, and there's this little person growing inside you. A little person that only you know. You know his kicks, his rolls and even his sleep patterns. He knows what your heart beat sounds like. Then one day you have a baby and leave him behind. Not forever, but you are leaving your baby, in someone else's care. We've all experienced the stab in the gut walking into the nursery at home and staring at an empty crib, clothes that are waiting to be worn. 

We often become over-protective. In our eyes, those little people living in our house, will always be those fragile little babies. 

The NICU changes you. It changes the woman you are and the Mom you are destined to be. You learn how strong you are capable of being and you learn your breaking point. Do I wish that I would have had my dream birth experience? Of course! But I have learned to embrace my experience and appreciate the woman and mother that it has made me. 

Throwback Thursday - May 8, 2014

Mom and I on my wedding day

I chose this picture of my mom and I for this week's Throwback Thursday because Mother's Day is this Sunday. This is also one of the very few pictures that I have of just me and my mom. I know she is probably going to hate this picture, she has changed so much since then, but in my eyes, that day she looked beautiful. She was so happy and proud that her little girl was getting married.

It was also the day that my relationship with my mom began to change and evolve into what it is today. I wouldn't say that we ever had a bad relationship, my relationship with both my parents was always pretty good. But growing up, I did give them some hard times, as I am sure most kids to during their teenage years. Heck, I know adults that still give their parents heart failure. 

Our relationship changed in that I understood her more. I understood the things that she did to make her marriage work. I understood what it was to maintain a home, worry about finances. I understood her as a wife. It was on this day, that we became friends. 

I don't know what I would ever do without my mom, although the sad reality is one day, I will. I call her to vent, to laugh, to cry, to know that their is someone on the other end that understands, not just because she is a woman too, but because she is my mom and I am part of her. 

I know I can call her a million times and ask her how to make a hard boiled egg, something I just can't commit to memory and I know she will be there to tell me how. I could be looking all over the place for something very specific and if I tell her, sure as the sky is blue, she will be the one to find it. She comes up with solutions to problems that only a seasoned wife and mother could possibly think of and most times, they are positively genius. 

Not only is she a fantastic mother, but she has morphed into the most amazing grandmother to all her grandkids. They are her life. They keep her going when sometimes she feels that the cards are stacked up against her and things aren't going right. They are just as lucky to have her as I am.

I just hope that my mother knows just how much she means to me and that I wish her the most wonderful of Mother's Days, this year and always. 

Throwback Thursday - May 1, 2014

Me, Mom and Dad 

This picture was either from the Fall of 1980 or the Spring of 1981. 

My Mom and my Dad are 2 of the most amazing people that I know. They taught me many lessons throughout my life. At the time I don't think they knew that they were even teaching me. I also didn't fully understand these lessons until I became a parent myself. 

My parents were married very young, just 19 and 22 years old. And no, it wasn't because of me, LOL. Just 3 years later, I was born and 3 years after that, my brother. They were in their late 20's and early 30's when they packed us up and moved us an hour away from family to our very own home. Back then, for some reason, an hour away seemed like an eternity. They did this to provide my brother and I with the life they felt we deserved. A home of our own, a yard to play in, our own bedrooms, a good school. 

I've been told there were nights my parents went without so we could eat. They both worked hard to give us everything we needed and as much of what we wanted as they could. We were their world and every step and every breath they took was for us. 

Now that I am a parent myself, I understand them more than I ever thought I would. I understand the long hours they put in beyond their jobs and long after we had gone to bed. I never understood how they seemed to get everything done. Now I do. 

I understand now the desire to give your children the very best of everything and the frustration that comes with not always being able to deliver. 

I understand the worry they felt when we got sick or hurt. And I'm sure one day I will pace the floor worried when my babies haven't come home yet. I will understand that their worry was projected as anger and that's why they yelled. 

I understand why I was given the freedoms to choose my own path, even when they thought it was wrong and I am grateful for all the times I fell and they were there to pick me back up again. I'm also thankful to have them there to celebrate with me when things went right. 

And now that I am married and have my own children, I think they understand me better too. They are finally able to see what all their hard work has done and the adults that those little babies have turned out to be. 

I will never be able to fully express how grateful I am for my parents and everything they have done for me, everything they have taught me and everything that they sacrificed the last 34 years of my life. All I can hope is that I have made them proud and I have lived up to all the hopes and dreams they had for me from the very first time they laid eyes on me.