A Poem for Dad

Early last year, I began writing a poem for my Dad. I wanted to do something special for him for Father's Day. My father was a man like no other. He loved everybody and he never judged. Even if he didn't like you, you'd never know it. He helped anyone he could. He gave me and my brother a great childhood, we rarely wanted for anything. He took such good care of my mother. He taught me so many valuable lessons, which at the time, seemed useless. But as I have gotten older, I have found the lessons and advice prove to be more useful than, I think, he even realized they would be. I wanted to honor that and him.

He unfortunately passed away before I completed it. I was too heartbroken over losing him and too overwhelmed with a new baby that I couldn't even fathom the thought of finishing it in time for Father's Day. But over the last few months, I have given it a second look and have finally completed it with an alternate ending.

So, this is for you Dad. A little something to tell you how much you mean to me and how lucky I am to have you as my Dad. I love and miss you always.

A Poem for Dad

A little girl's daddy is her first love. 

He is the man that will raise the bar for all other men that come into her life. 

He is her first protector. 

She will love him unconditionally and look up to him. 

She looks to make him proud. 

He teaches her. 

He teaches her the lessons she needs to take care of her self and protect herself. 

He teaches her to use her hands, to fix her car and install a new faucet. 

He guides her. 

He guides her in the direction that can best protect her and make her better than him. 

But when she chooses her own path, he is there to cheer her on when it goes well. 

And he's there to pick up the pieces and set her straight when she falls. 

He loves her. 

She will defy him, disappoint him and make him mad. 

She will make him happy and proud. 

Through it all, he loves her. 

He lets her go. 

He gives her to another man with faith that he has taught her well. 

That she has chosen the right man. 

That he has taught her as much as he can to make her successful in her own life. 

He watches her.

He watches her manage her own life, making her own way in the world. 

He watches her build a home with her husband. 

He boasts with pride when she begins a family of her own. 

He watches her raise that family the best she can with all the tools he has given her. 

He dies. 

But even in death, he will continue to protect, teach, guide and love her. 

He still watches her. 

Happy Mother's Day!

It wasn't until I became a mom, that I truly understood the work being a mom really was. My mom always made it look so easy. What I didn't know and didn't see were the endless hours she put in after my brother and I were sound asleep in our beds. I never gave much thought to how there were always clean towels or how the toilet paper never ran out. Beds were made and laundry cleaned and put neatly in drawers. Lunches were ready and the refrigerator and cabinets were always stocked with food. She made sure that Santa never let us down. The tooth fairy came and the Easter Bunny always hid our baskets.

She worried about our safety, our health, our happiness. She worried if she was doing a good enough job. She worried if we did well in school, if we had the right friends. She worried when it was 10 minutes past curfew and we weren't home.

She supported us, picked us up when we fell and loved us unconditionally. Even when I used dish soap in the dishwasher. Oops. But through all the work, worry and support, she was silently teaching me how to be the best possible mother I could be.

When I got married, I was blessed with a wonderful mother-in-law. Over the years she has been there as a mother and as a friend. She raised a wonderful man that I am proud to call my husband.

To my boys, you are my greatest accomplishments. I wouldn't be a Mommy without you. You came in to this world so tiny and fragile, but you are growing into amazing boys. There is no greater joy than watching you grow and learn. I promise to always love and protect you. Even when you are all grown, you will always be my babies. I love you with every ounce of my soul.

Throwback Thursday - May 8, 2014

Mom and I on my wedding day

I chose this picture of my mom and I for this week's Throwback Thursday because Mother's Day is this Sunday. This is also one of the very few pictures that I have of just me and my mom. I know she is probably going to hate this picture, she has changed so much since then, but in my eyes, that day she looked beautiful. She was so happy and proud that her little girl was getting married.

It was also the day that my relationship with my mom began to change and evolve into what it is today. I wouldn't say that we ever had a bad relationship, my relationship with both my parents was always pretty good. But growing up, I did give them some hard times, as I am sure most kids to during their teenage years. Heck, I know adults that still give their parents heart failure. 

Our relationship changed in that I understood her more. I understood the things that she did to make her marriage work. I understood what it was to maintain a home, worry about finances. I understood her as a wife. It was on this day, that we became friends. 

I don't know what I would ever do without my mom, although the sad reality is one day, I will. I call her to vent, to laugh, to cry, to know that their is someone on the other end that understands, not just because she is a woman too, but because she is my mom and I am part of her. 

I know I can call her a million times and ask her how to make a hard boiled egg, something I just can't commit to memory and I know she will be there to tell me how. I could be looking all over the place for something very specific and if I tell her, sure as the sky is blue, she will be the one to find it. She comes up with solutions to problems that only a seasoned wife and mother could possibly think of and most times, they are positively genius. 

Not only is she a fantastic mother, but she has morphed into the most amazing grandmother to all her grandkids. They are her life. They keep her going when sometimes she feels that the cards are stacked up against her and things aren't going right. They are just as lucky to have her as I am.

I just hope that my mother knows just how much she means to me and that I wish her the most wonderful of Mother's Days, this year and always. 

Throwback Thursday - April 17, 2014

Our Wedding Day - April 19,. 2008

This Saturday, Chris and I will celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary. So much has changed in our life since we said "I do". We've moved to a 2 bedroom apartment, we had a beautiful little boy that has brought more joy to our lives than we could have ever imagined possible. We've got different vehicles, we've got more debt. We've even changed jobs a few times. We've loved, we've lost. We've fought, we've made up. We've tried and given up. We've succeeded and we've failed. We have a new little boy on the way. 

But through it all, we have loved each other. We have made it through things that would otherwise tear people apart. When others thought that there was no way that we could ever possibly make it, we did. When the cards were dealt against us, we always managed to come out on top. 

We are polar opposites, but we are exactly the same. He is the other shoe that makes my perfect pair. When I fall, he picks me back up. When he falls, I laugh. LOL, no just kidding. Okay, maybe only partly kidding. Humor is something that is never lacking in our lives. We laugh at ourselves, we laugh at each other. But we are always laughing together. 

We live a simple life. When we were dating we used to always dream about the huge house we would have and the fancy cars we would drive. But as we have moved through life together, we have come to realize that those things aren't the things that make a marriage. Having dinner together after a long day, even if it is pasta for a second night in a row. Sitting on the couch watching our favorite shows, even if we don't say a word. Snuggling at night while laying in bed and him waiting for me to fall asleep before he rolls over to face the other way. A simple text message to say "hi, how's your day". A hug when nothing is going right. A pep talk when you feel at your lowest. Knowing that no matter what you do, there will always be someone in your corner. Having someone to come home to, a home that no matter how small or messy at times, is ours that we have built together. Having someone to tell you you're right or wrong. Honestly. 

The last 6 years have been some of the most rewarding and challenging times of my life. But I wouldn't trade them for the world because I know I am going through them with my best friend. 

Here's to 2014!

Happy New Year to all!

As I sit and reflect on 2013, I am reminded of all the things, both good and bad, that it held. We laughed, we cried. We loved, we lost. My husband, son and I had our health. We had food and a roof over our heads. Our bills were paid. After 3 years of writing and editing, I finally published my first ebook. My brother and sister-in-law became pregnant with their second baby. We also found out that we would be welcoming our second child into our family as well. My husband started a new job that will set us up and prepare us for retirement. Seriously, am I that old that retirement plans are a concern? And after nearly 3 years, we are a 2 car family again. Many happy occasions.

But with all the good, there will always come the bad. In May, we both lost our jobs, I still have not returned to work. My aunt became ill with cancer and has endured chemo, surgeries and a long road ahead of her. We said goodbye to my dear Aunt Babs far too soon.

I never make New Year's resolutions, frankly because I don't keep them. But I always look forward to the promise of a new year and a clean slate. There are many exciting things happening in 2014 for my family and those around us. And I am excited to share those moments with them and you.

My wish for all of you is that you make the best out of every day. Leave the pain and hurt and anger of last year behind and wake up each day with a new perspective. Every day, not just New Year's Day, is a day to start over. Be thankful for what you have and work hard for the things you want. Make things happen. Be kind. Love each other. Remember that a simple smile or "good morning" to a stranger could change their day. Pay it forward. With a little kindness and care for those around us, the world will be a better place. Be the kind of person that you would want your children to be. Put down the technology and spend time with your children; you will never get these years back (this I am personally guilty of). Slow down. Take the time to do the things you love, the dishes can wait.

Here's to a happy, healthy and joyous New Year!