A Poem for Dad

Early last year, I began writing a poem for my Dad. I wanted to do something special for him for Father's Day. My father was a man like no other. He loved everybody and he never judged. Even if he didn't like you, you'd never know it. He helped anyone he could. He gave me and my brother a great childhood, we rarely wanted for anything. He took such good care of my mother. He taught me so many valuable lessons, which at the time, seemed useless. But as I have gotten older, I have found the lessons and advice prove to be more useful than, I think, he even realized they would be. I wanted to honor that and him.

He unfortunately passed away before I completed it. I was too heartbroken over losing him and too overwhelmed with a new baby that I couldn't even fathom the thought of finishing it in time for Father's Day. But over the last few months, I have given it a second look and have finally completed it with an alternate ending.

So, this is for you Dad. A little something to tell you how much you mean to me and how lucky I am to have you as my Dad. I love and miss you always.

A Poem for Dad

A little girl's daddy is her first love. 

He is the man that will raise the bar for all other men that come into her life. 

He is her first protector. 

She will love him unconditionally and look up to him. 

She looks to make him proud. 

He teaches her. 

He teaches her the lessons she needs to take care of her self and protect herself. 

He teaches her to use her hands, to fix her car and install a new faucet. 

He guides her. 

He guides her in the direction that can best protect her and make her better than him. 

But when she chooses her own path, he is there to cheer her on when it goes well. 

And he's there to pick up the pieces and set her straight when she falls. 

He loves her. 

She will defy him, disappoint him and make him mad. 

She will make him happy and proud. 

Through it all, he loves her. 

He lets her go. 

He gives her to another man with faith that he has taught her well. 

That she has chosen the right man. 

That he has taught her as much as he can to make her successful in her own life. 

He watches her.

He watches her manage her own life, making her own way in the world. 

He watches her build a home with her husband. 

He boasts with pride when she begins a family of her own. 

He watches her raise that family the best she can with all the tools he has given her. 

He dies. 

But even in death, he will continue to protect, teach, guide and love her. 

He still watches her. 

Throwback Thursday - April 24, 2014

Aunt Marji and I at the Mousetrap Bar (no idea who the creepy guy in the background is). 

This weeks Throwback Thursday is dedicated to my godmother, Aunt Marji. We lost her just 2 short weeks ago. 

I always admired my Aunt. She was so strong. In her early 20's, she had a kidney transplant, she was born with only one kidney. Doctors at one point told her that she would never have kids. She went on to have 2 beautiful children, one who literally became a rocket scientist and the other a teacher. That first kidney lasted for many years, until she once again began the process of regular dialysis until another kidney was available for her. 

In 2012, our prayers were answered and she got the call that a match had been found. However, our joy was short lived when in June of 2013, she found out that she had ovarian cancer. The same cancer that took her mother's life (my grandmother) in 1996. With advancements in cancer treatments, we were always hopeful that she would beat this thing. She endured round after round of chemo, all the while hoping her new kidney would withstand the stress. After the cancer had shrunk enough, the doctors performed a hysterectomy and again we were hopeful this was all over. But the cancer had made its way to other places. Attacking other organs in her body. She lost weight, a lot of weight. She lost her hair. But she never lost her spirit. 

Unfortunately, the cancer won and she passed peacefully surrounded by her family. 

She fought hard. She endured more than anyone that I have ever known, but she always smiled. On the surface, she had a "thems the breaks" type of attitude. Just like my grandmother did. 

I always felt a kinship with my aunt. Although I didn't go through anywhere near what she did, we both had c sections. Both our first born were preemie, although hers a few weeks sooner than mine. Whenever I was concerned about Brandon, I thought of her son, who was born at 28 weeks, he is the rocket scientist.

And as with my grandmother, I never understood how someone could face so much uncertainty and endure so much and still stay positive and be grateful for the things that they do have. However, it's people like my aunt and my grandmother that have taught me no mater what, there is always something to be thankful for, even when the situation seems hard and bleak.

I love my aunt dearly and will always miss her. But I know she is no longer living in pain and she is at peace. 

Throwback Thursday - April 3, 2014

It wasn't until recently, and by recently I mean like last Thursday, that I jumped on the Throwback Thursday (#TBT) bandwagon on Facebook. I enjoy seeing all the gems that others post, tagging people that they have reconnected with from their past or others that they have remained friends with all along.

I honestly didn't even go into today thinking about what picture I might post. But as I sat at my dining room table going through mementoes from when my son was born nearly 5 years ago, I came across a picture that when it was taken, I didn't realize that one day, I'd treasure it so much.

                                                          Aunt Barbara and Brandon

This is my dear Aunt Barbara meeting her great nephew for the first time. She passed away last August and the void that has left in all of us in indescribable.

But on this particular day, she was so excited to see him and hold him. Her and my Uncle never did have kids of their own, but all their nieces and nephews were like their own. She loved us like a mother would and was so immensely proud of everything that we did. She bragged about us to her friends and co-workers, called for every birthday. She celebrated all the special moments in all our lives. She was one of the most thoughtful and kind people I have had the honor of knowing.

I remember on that day that we couldn't get down to the nursery fast enough for her. She was so excited she was practically shaking. She took a bunch of pictures that day and put them into a little album for me.

The beach was always her favorite place to be and she was thrilled that my room had a beach view. So thrilled that one of those pictures is a view of the beach from my hospital room window.

This picture and the album she made me are something that I will always treasure. I miss her dearly, but I know that she is with all of us, always.